[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey.
- How was your class? - Oh, it's good, really good.
Good. Alright, I gotta go.
Oh, listen, the Parkers said that the party's gonna be over
at 2:00, so you can pick up the kids anytime after that.
- Okay. - Alright.
- I'll see you later. - Okay.
- What was that? - Nothing.
You said "good-bye," so you know, good-bye.
Oh, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Bye.
Good-bye.
- I'm going golfing. - Yeah, I know.
Oh, it's not fair.
You know I love golfing. I don't get to golf very often.
Alright.
Oh, don't make me choose.
It's not fair.
- It's probably gonna rain. - Yeah.
Hey, Nemo, pizza ready?
Look at this.
- Ah.. - What the hell?
Oh, hey. Hey, guys.
Hey, moron, where were you today?
Whoa, whoa, what are you--
how come you're not golfin'?
We waited for your big nose for an hour.
Then we couldn't play because a tournament was starting.
Nice work, big nose.
Ah, man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just had to do something at the house, you know.
I just had to...I had to... Had to do that something.
We kept calling. Why didn't you pick up the phone?
Yeah, I know, but I couldn't hear 'cause I was fixing
the dryer, and, uh..
That damned basin of it, it's all..
...out of its hoop.
What, are you trying to lie or something?
Alright, guys, listen.
I'm sorry, I couldn't make it this morning 'cause Debra and I
we just, you know, we couldn't get out of bed.
- Oh, for cryin' out loud.. - No, but listen.
I didn't want to. I was ready to go. I was ready to go.
We were there, we were in the kitchen and then--
Alright, Ray, look we don't
need to hear the details.
I bought new balls and shoes. He owes me details.
Listen, junior high. Shut up with the details.
It's his wife.
And, Ray, sex over golf? It's your wife.
- Listen-- - Here's the pie, Ray.
You guys gonna order, or are you just gonna color the placemats?
No, no. Don't order anything, guys.
Look, let me make it up to you, huh?
Let's have my pizza. Huh?
My family's pizza, I give to you.
Free. Come on, free pizza.
- We're gonna need drinks. - 'Yeah.'
Yeah, yeah, Suzy, small sodas for everybody.
Come on, guys, dig in.
Alright.
So...you had a busy morning.
Did you remember how to do everything,
or did you have to consult the manual?
[laughs]
Hey.
You wanna know something? You're not gonna believe this.
Third time this week.
Yeah, that's a Barone record.
- Three times? Get outta here! - I'm tellin' you.
- No way. - 'Three times.'
Tuesday, Thursday, today.
I think you're confusing sex with showering.
So how come you're becoming so popular?
I don't know. It's just happening.
Well, what, are you doing something different?
You talking to her more?
Paying more attention to her?
No.
Maybe it's your...technique.
Have you learned some new moves?
No. Moves. What do I got?
I got fast forward and the stall.
Well, you gotta be doin' something different.
No.
Although...the only thing I can think of is
I got this pulled muscle in my ribcage, you know?
So lately, everything I do, I'm favoring my left side.
- So? - I don't know.
Maybe I'm just, like, accentuating some emphasis
at a different angle.
Maybe she just, uh, doesn't want you playing golf.
- What do you mean? - Think about it, Ray.
She's jealous. She hates when you play golf.
She'll do anything to stop it.
Even if it means having sex with you.
[laughs] That's it! He's right!
No, that's not it. That's not..
What about Tuesday and Thursday?
That's probably part of her plan.
[high-pitched voice] "I'll have sex with him Tuesday and Thursday
and he'll be none the wiser."
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's not it, alright?
It's the new action.
Yeah, right. Hey, Robert, do me a favor.
I might get lucky tonight. Punch me in the ribs?
[laughs]
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey.
What are you doing?
I'm brushing my teeth.
Oh.
So that was a first, huh?
What's that?
This morning.
Making me miss golf like that.
[laughs] Didn't seem like you missed it.
Ha. I didn't, no, no.
Hey..
Look, this morning..
...you weren't just doing that--
You know what I was thinking?
Why don't you make it up to the guys tomorrow?
Yeah, alright.
What do you mean?
Go golfing tomorrow.
You, you want me to go golfing tomorrow?
I mean, you did kind of ruin their plans today.
Yeah, you should go golfing.
I'll take the kids to the park.
- Oh, you're the best. - What?
[sing song] Going golfing tomorrow.
Alright. I'm gonna go watch the news.
Okay.
That's the same kiss from this morning.
Oh?
No..
Why not?
You--
Yes! Why not?
Well..
Oh, you're really liking me a lot this week.
- I'll be in the bedroom. - Okay. Don't start without me.
[giggling] I won't.
[winces]
Ohh.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ohh..
Hey, what's this thing here?
[Debra] 'What?'
This-this thing with the muscleman on it.
Oh, that's from my gym. That's my new aerobics instructor.
Nick Bronson.
That guy teach or is he just model?
Heh. No, no, he's really great.
As a matter of fact, I took his class three times this week.
Wait, three times?
Yeah, Tuesday, Thursday, and this morning.
[sighs]
[clears throat]
So?
Oh.
Yeah, I don't know.
Actually..
...my ribs are bothering me.
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey.
How long is the mirror in your apartment?
Ma's sewing up my uniform.
Left pant leg got all shredded on a call.
These damn people with raccoons as pets.
Never works out.
So what's going on with you?
[Ray] 'Ah, you know, nothing.'
Listen, Robert.
Yeah.
Do you ever..
Do you ever have a hamburger..
...and the whole time you're eating it
you're imagining that it's a steak?
I have.
Yes, I have.
Who's this?
That's the steak.
What?
I think this guy Is the reason that I'm having more sex.
Look, before we go any further, I'd like to put my pants on.
Listen..
It's Debra's aerobics instructor, okay?
She took his class three times last week.
- Uh-huh. - Yeah, three times.
Three times she watched this guy
muscle around and gyrate it up, okay?
And guess what days.
Ohh...so..
...so all this time, you're thinking
it's you making her hot.
Turns out, she's coming home preheated.
Yeah..
[laughing]
- It's not funny, Robert. - No, it is a little funny.
See, only you would think a rib injury would turn you into a..
[laughing] ...a love machine.
[singing] And it don't work for nobody but you.
Rr-rr-rr-rr!
Alright, shut up.
Here. Your pants are holdin' up my eggs.
Oh, Frank, I still need to iron these.
Why don't you sew a diaper in there while you're at it too?
[Marie] 'Raymond, dear, you hungry?'
No, no, no, I'm just, I'm just talking to Robert.
What are you, bragging?
What?
Yeah, Robert told me about you and happy hips over there.
Oh, great. That's just great, Robert.
It sounds like somebody's trying to earn some jewelry.
[laughter]
Listen, it's none of my business but I think maybe
this might be Debra's way of trying to compensate.
How so, ma?
Well, if you can't cook in the kitchen..
Okay. Good-bye.
You guys are way off.
- There. - What are you--
Holy crap!
That's Debra's aerobics instructor.
She watches him flex all around
and then she goes home all...inspired.
Why do you do that? Wh-why do you tell mom and dad
things like that, huh? My personal things.
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Brings us closer.
[Frank] 'What are you so upset about?'
Sounds like Mr. Muscle here is saving you some prep work.
I don't like that, Frank.
And I have to say, Raymond, I think that Debra
is playing a very dangerous game.
Oh, what are you talking about?
Who cares where she gets her appetite
as long as she has her meal at home?
- Okay, stop. Stop. - 'Raymond.'
Raymond, you have to get Debra out of this class right now.
Why? This guy is helping out.
Maybe Ray doesn't have what it takes
to get Debra's motor running.
Raymond's got plenty.
Thank you!
Mom!
Unh.
Huh.
Hey, this is a good-looking guy.
What?
He's like a gladiator.
Come on, Robert, you can't say this isn't a handsome man.
Ma, please, I really need my pants.
[indistinct chatter]
Hey.
Hey! What are you doing here?
I thought you were gonna pick me up at 2:00.
Yeah, I know, but I thought maybe we could go out
and get something to eat right now.
Okay, that's great but I'm
gonna be another 45 minutes.
- Well-- - Hey, everybody.
[all] Hey!
So who's ready to sweat?
- Whoo! - All right!
Listen, I was thinking we could go to Tuto Benes
you know, but I don't have reservations.
So why don't we just go now?
Nah. No.
Hi.
Are you gonna take the class today?
Maybe.
[laughing] No, you're not.
Well, there's an extra space in case you decide to stay.
Hmm.
Wait, you're not taking the class.
I, hey, maybe I will.
Why? Would that ruin it for you?
No, I mean, I don't care. You do what you want.
Okay, guys, what do you say we start with a quick warm-up?
[upbeat music plays]
Okay, v-steps, and..
Five, six, seven, eight..
You gonna do 40 minutes of this, really? Come on.
Ray, would you be quiet?
Why don't you just wait for me outside?
I just can't believe you'd pay money for this.
You know, we got a flight of stairs at home.
Hey, just shh, shh!
And grapevine! Here we go!
[claps]
- Ow! - Sorry. Sorry.
- You feelin' it? - Yeah!
- I can't hear you! - Yeah!
Bring it on!
- What's with you? - Nothin'. I'm in the zone.
Hey! Looking good, Debra. Looking good!
'Okay, guys, knee lifts, ready, countdown, and..'
Five, six, seven, eight..
Come on, man. What's the matter?
[music continues]
Around the world! Here we go!
[thuds and music stops]
I'll be in the juice bar.
Well, I guess I'm not aerobically gifted.
[chuckles]
That's okay, a lot of people break the boom box
on their first time out.
Ha. That's funny.
Do you wanna have sex?
- What? - Yeah.
I mean, you know, the kids aren't home
and, uh...the honeymoon suite is vacant.
- 'Mmm..' - Ohh...ha ha.
No, not right now.
Why?
Um, you know, I'm just not really in the mood right now.
Why, 'cause you missed the class?
Missed the class? No, I'm just, you know, not in the mood.
Why?
What are you, seven?
How many times you gonna ask me why?
Just until you really tell me. Why?
[huffs] Okay, because the kids are gonna be home any minute.
I have a sink full of dishes, and I just--
why do I have to explain it? I'm just not in the mood.
How about now?
- Yeah. Huh? - What?
Yeah. Are you in the mood now, huh?
Huh? Kick one, two, kick one, two.
Kick one, two.
I'm a maniac! Maniac!
Ah. Now I'm in the mood.
Yeah, I know.
- I know all about it. - All about what?
Every time you go, go to the class you're getting
all turned on by Hunky Joe, right? And then you..
...then you come home to me to put out the fire.
Are you out of your mind?
Lookin' good, Debra. Lookin' good!
What so y..
You're getting all paranoid
'cause we had a little extra sex last week.
Three times. Three times, right?
You don't think that's out of the ordinary?
Surprised it wasn't on the news.
So you think I'm cheating on you with you?
Put it however you want, alright?
You know what you're doing.
You know what? I'm tired.
Could you just call yourself an idiot?
Yeah.
You know I'm right, right?
How would you like it if I did that to you?
Oh, please! You know..
What about every year when that stupid swimsuit issue arrives?
I know I'm not gonna be getting much sleep that night.
- Why is that, Ray? - That's not true.
- 'Yeah.'
Don't try and make that like this.
What-what about the naked channel
that you're always trying to check
to see if they forgot to scramble it?
I'm not, that's, I'm not checking it.
It's on the way to the travel channel.
That's not, that's not--
Who-who's the one in the bedroom
with all the little character suggestions, huh?
Uh, "I'm the stock boy, and you can't reach the sauce."
Or, "Ooh, come to bed with a limp."
Look...that isn't the same, alright?
- You can't compare that. - No? Why? Why is that?
Because none of those things are real, okay?
They're all make-believe! They're games!
This guy is real. He's flesh and blood
and sweat and muscles, okay?
And I don't like it! I don't like it!
Ray, did it ever occur to you that taking aerobics classes
makes me feel better about myself?
Yeah, so if I feel better about myself, I feel better about
a lot of other things too.
- Yeah, but that guy-- - That guy just teaches class.
That's all.
- That's all? - That's it.
You know, I mean, I've seen good-looking men before.
Where?
All you ever do is complain about how little sex we have
and last week, we had more than enough
and all it did was make you suspicious.
Ah, I don't know. I'm an idiot, I guess.
- My idiot. - 'Mmm.'
Yeah.
There's that kiss again.
How about that?
Kids are gonna be home in 15 minutes.
Well, good, then we'll have time for a nap too.
Well, what-what about the garbage?
- Ah, just leave it. - Oh, you're dirty.
Hey.
You here again?
[Ray] Yeah. I just..
I wanted to bring Hunky Joe a new boom box.
He's not teaching class today.
- What? - Hi, everybody.
[All] Hey.
Everybody ready to move?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Here we go.
[upbeat music plays]
Five, six, seven, eight..
You know, I'm feeling better about myself.
[theme music]